I found myself saying this to my 6-year-old daughter the other day and afterward, began to think about the implications of that statement.

This MSN Mental Health article warns us that the results of a 24-year-long survey of college students indicate a serious rise in a narcissistic approach to living.

“We need to stop endlessly repeating ‘You’re special’ and having children repeat that back,” said the study’s lead author, Professor Jean Twenge of San Diego State University. “Kids are self-centered enough already.” I’m not sure I agree with this statement, but I do think it’s important to consider how we praise children and the kind of feedback we give them.

The hallmarks of narcissism are:

• lack of empathy
• inability to cope with criticism
• favoring self over all others, to the detriment of personal and business relationships
• manipulative and deceitful behavior
• controlling and violent behavior

According to the survey, today’s college students are much more prone than their predecessors to answer yes to statements like these:

I think I am a special person.
If I ruled the world, it would be a better place.
I can live my life any way I want to.

When I look at data like this, I find it noteworthy that one can view such statements as either a sign of terrific confidence or of a sign that someone is on the verge of developing a Napoleon complex. If living life the way you want to means you’re going to go tend to injured dolphins in the Pacific Ocean, that sounds great to me. But if it means you want to conquer another country and rule them with a dictatorial hand…we may have a problem here. I think this dilemma calls for a re-examination of the phrase self-esteem.

What Is Healthy Self-Esteem?

Most experts agree that having healthy self-esteem includes being able to accurately assess yourself and your strengths and weaknesses. It does not mean that you think you are perfect, or better than anyone else. It means that we see ourselves as valuable contributors to our families and communities; we have something worthwhile to offer.

If children are spoiled or indulged, or alternately ignored or criticized, it becomes difficult for them to to have true humility, to make the effort of self-improvement, and to recognize the rights of others. Children are intrinsically valuable, simply for existing. While they absolutely should learn about the importance of making moral choices, their self-worth cannot be completely based on their behavior. Our love and approval should be unconditional, and when we are disappointed by their poor choices, our message should be clear: we disapprove of what you’ve done, but not of who you are.

The Importance of Unconditional Love

It’s natural and normal for parents to view their children as miraculous, astonishing and wonderful little people. Infants and children must feel cherished and loved in order to develop normally, both physically and emotionally. In loving families, new babies elicit a reaction of absolute delight just by being themselves! While I recognize the hazard of heaping a child with meaningless praise, I am equally convinced of the hazard of not giving young children any recognition and appreciation.

In this life, we are all destined to run into both good and bad apples when we make forays into the world. We meet people who respect us and others who want to take advantage of us. But never again do we meet with a quality of acceptance quite as magnificent as the one we knew as children, if our parents loved us. I believe that parents and teachers who demonstrate clearly to children that they have inherent value simply because they exist, are doing the most important thing they can to protect children from being deceived and abused by the bad apples they will run into in adulthood.

A grown woman may refuse to accept an abusive boyfriend’s belittling image of herself. A grown man may stand up to a situation that is beneath his dignity in the workplace. All because, once upon a time, important adults told them they were valuable.

It Starts with Us

Maria Montessori taught that the child’s work was to attain a discernment between good and evil. The child’s cues come from us – the grownups. This means that our first work is to examine our own moral code and be mindful of the examples we are setting. Do you know what determines all of our values and behavior? Relationships. It is our relationships that shape us. The importance of having supportive adults in a child’s life simply cannot be overstated.

The best thing is that teachers and parents can do is to consistently love, care, protect, and encourage the children in their care. It’s okay for kids to know that they are special to the people who love them. If they are given unconditional love, moral guidance, and constructive feedback regarding their behavior, children will develop healthy self-esteem that leads to good choices and success further down the road.

I felt like talking to Andrea could help us, as parents and teachers, better understand how Montessori shapes a child’s mind, and what kind of adults our Montessori children will turn out to be.

Lori: Hi, Andrea! Thanks for taking some time to answer my questions.

Andrea: You are very welcome!

Lori: Let’s start at the beginning. Where did you attend Montessori school and for how long?

Andrea: I attended Westside Montessori Center in Toledo, OH from the age of 3 1/2 through 6th grade.

Lori: Wow, so you were in Montessori for a long time! Why did your parents choose Montessori for you?

Andrea: I learned how to read on my own by the age of 2. My parents were running their own business, and my younger sister had just been born. They realized I needed stimulation. A family friend recommended Montessori to them. My father says that as soon as he walked in, he knew it was right for me.

Lori: What are some favorite memories from being in Montessori school?

Andrea: I loved the feeling of independence and following what I wanted to learn. I loved the close relationships and mutual respect I had with my teachers. I always got my work done so that I could also sit and read in the book corner. The owner of the school had a golden retriever who came to school every day and served as a surrogate pet for years.

For French class we got to go to both Canada and France for true cultural experiences. In 6th grade, I wrote a play and we put it on for our parents. I still have the videotape somewhere.

Lori: That sounds amazing, like you truly had the freedom to study what appealed to you. I know you love all the Montessori materials, but what was your favorite?

Andrea: I was a total math nerd, and I loved the spindle boxes when I was little and the test tube division in Elementary. As an educator, I love the moveable alphabet and the golden bead material.

Lori: Now for the nitty-gritty. How do you feel that Montessori impacted you – academically, emotionally, psychologically?

Andrea: For both my sister and me, Montessori taught us to be independent studiers and thinkers. If we want to know about something, we dive into learning as much about it as we can. We can question authority when appropriate, yet are respectful of rules and boundaries. I don’t want to sound like a rebel, but I’m not a conformist, either.

We both have been able to do whatever we set our minds to and be successful. I also learned how to be an observer of people, which as a Montessori educator is essential.

Lori: Would you choose Montessori for your own kids and why?

Andrea: Yes, I definitely would! Having grown up in Montessori, it is just the most natural route for me to go. Plus, the home I grew up in was naturally Montessori, even if my parents didn’t realize it at the time. For me, there is no other option.

Lori: What’s something helpful that Montessori parents and teachers should know about what it’s like for a child to be in a Montessori program?

Andrea: I find that parents often worry that children will have too much trouble adapting when they leave Montessori. While there is a period of adjustment, it’s no different than any time you change schools, churches, or move to a different neighborhood.

Usually, we Montessori children have been given tools to help us adapt well to different circumstances, or at least how to cope with change. It’s often the parents who have trouble adjusting.

Lori: That’s a great point – we sometimes project our own fears about change on our kids, don’t we?

Andrea: Yes, we do. It helps to realize that.

Lori: Someone on my Montessori Facebook page asked a great question. They wondered if children with a Montessori education have a hard time adjusting to life in the workplace.

In other words, is it hard to follow a schedule, deadlines, etc. when you’ve had so much freedom to pursue learning on your own timetable?

Andrea: I think we become used to thinking outside of the box, and it can be frustrating if and when we end up working for more rigid people. Just like with any job, it’s important to find the job within the career that best suits your personality. There is usually someone out there who respects and appreciates your unique way of thinking.

Often we are able to bring more to the table because we have learned how to work with other people, negotiate, plan, and bring out our creative sides. My sister and I were both taught how to be leaders in our own rights, and have gone on to do so in our respective careers.

As deadlines are a part of the natural world, we are used to following and meeting them. Schedules can provide an outline of what we need to do with our time. I personally function best with having a routine, and the freedom to do what I want within those parameters.

I think each individual in general will have their own issues, but not necessarily because they are Montessori children. We just get singled out because we are a subset of society.

Lori: Andrea, thank you so much for your time. This has been awesome, and for me, it’s only confirmed that I am doing the right thing by promoting Montessori and by having my own children in Montessori education.

Andrea: Thank you for having me at your blog!

Just a note: I’m pretty sure Andrea will come by to check on comments, so if you have any other thoughts or questions for her, please go ahead and leave a comment!

School was a one-room schoolhouse in the middle of the prairie. My dad and his brothers and sisters rode to school in a one-horse sleigh, often picking the teacher up on the way. For several years he was the only child in his grade.

His parents hoped that the children would take over the family farm when they grew up, but my dad had other dreams. He decided to become a preacher. He pursued going to college even though money was tight.

After serving for several years as the pastor of a small church, and then for several years as a professor, he became pastor of Moody Church in Chicago in 1980. I was eight years old. My sisters and I lived our formative years in the spotlight, with many expectations for what a pastor’s daughter should be.

As the oldest in the family, and with a strong-willed and outspoken personality, the pressure on me seemed especially intense. But it was always outside pressure. My parents both gave me the freedom to be myself without making me feel like I had to do things the way other people expected.

No matter what house we lived in, my dad always had an “office”, even if it meant his daughters shared a room. The door to his office was almost always open, and he made sure we knew that if we ever needed to talk to him, we could. Many times I would go in his office, sit down, share my problems, and feel a weight lift as he gave me thoughtful advice.

My sisters and I watched closely to see if my dad practiced in real life what he preached in the pulpit, and he did. We knew we could trust him.

When I think about my dad, these things stand out:

• He is a good listener
• He gives great advice
• He prays for me every day
• He loves me unconditionally

Without these four things, I’m convinced that I would not be the happy, successful person that I am today.

This picture of me and my dad is one of my all-time favorites. I was about nine months old, and according to my mom, I had been very sick with a high fever. They had been up most of the night taking care of me. I’ve always liked it because my dad looks tired but he’s holding me so sweetly.

Dad, I love you and thank you for the excellent job you did in providing for our family and guiding us. I am proud to be your daughter! Happy Father’s Day!

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there who work so hard for their families. We salute you!

Speaking generally, mothers are also more likely to help their children with homework and to volunteer at school or with extracurricular activities. And moms are usually the primary educators if the family has chosen homeschooling as an option.

The good news, according to the American Sociological Association, is that the time fathers spend with their children has doubled in the past 40 years. The bad news is that over 50% of fathers report being involved very little or not at all in their children’s education.

All children benefit from having their fathers involved at home and school. The U.S. Department of Education says that children are more likely to do well academically, participate in activities, and have a positive attitude about school when their fathers are involved. This appears to be especially important for students who have learning disabilities.

Divorce can make it even more difficult for a father to be involved. I remember when I was teaching, there were times that I had to schedule two parent/teacher conferences for a child: one with the mother (and possibly stepfather) and one with the father (and possibly stepmother).

And you know what? I was happy to do it, because I could definitely see the positive effects when both parents were involved in a child’s education, even when the parents themselves didn’t get along.

So, is there a way for fathers to be more involved? I think so. Let’s look at a few.

Ways Fathers Can Be More Involved

• One of the simplest things you can do is to take the time to ask your child what she learned that day, then to listen and ask questions about it. Children want to know that their fathers are interested in what they think, and fathers can learn a lot about their children when they take the time to listen.
• Join a support community or message board for dads involved in their children’s education. Not only will you get ideas about how to support your children’s education, you’ll be a part of a community that values the importance of fathers in their kids’ lives.
• Dads can teach incredibly important life skills – how an air conditioner works, how to repair a car engine, how to plant a garden, why a checkbook must be balanced – just by interacting with their children and getting them involved in every day life.
• If your family homeschools, try to take a day off of work during the school year to observe their homeschooling so that you know what goes on during that time. Plan some educational activities that you can be a part of.
• Go on family “field trips” on the weekends. A fun filled day at the zoo or beach with your children can be a perfect opportunity for you to guide them in hands-on learning.
• Read to your children and have them read to you. Set aside a specific time (before bed, perhaps) and make it a daily ritual.
• Take your child with you to work. Not only will it give him a visual representation of what you do when you mention “work,” but he’ll have a chance to observe workplace skills like communication, time-management, and teamwork, beyond what he’ll learn about your specific job.
• Involve yourself in your children’s formal education. Volunteer at school. Become familiar with your child’s curriculum so that you can support his or her learning.
• Tell your child that you love them, and tell them often. ‘Father love’ sustains a child through negative peer pressure and gives them strength to make tough choices and avoid destructive behavior. My dad used to tell me and my sisters that he loved us every day, sometimes running out to the car as we backed out of the driveway to go to school (once we were in high school and driving) to come to the car window and say “I love you!” We were slightly embarrassed but also highly pleased that we always knew our dad loved us.
• Help your children set goals for the year, both academic and personal. Periodically check in with them to see how they are doing, and think of ways you can support their goals.
• Use time with your children to impart to them something they can’t learn from textbooks: your values. It’s from you that they’ll learn about good sportsmanship, honesty, loyalty, and hard work.
• Take a special interest in an academic area, and create a special time for it with your children. Start a writing club, and spend one Friday night a month researching, writing and revising at a local bookstore with your children. Or start an architect’s club, and use weekend time to build a clubhouse in your backyard.
• Build a relationship with your child’s teacher. If they have an email list, ask that you be added so that you can receive email updates about class activities. When you drop off your child or pick them up from school, make a point of saying “hi” to your child’s teacher. Keep the lines of communication open so that you can approach them if necessary. And be sure to attend your child’s parent/teacher conferences.

Take advantage of these helpful resources:

Center for Successful Fathering, Inc. – provides education and support for fathers. They offer online seminars on parenting issues.

Bring Your Fathers to School – this article gives a lot of great info on the importance of father involvement and ways to make it happen (scroll down to see the article).

You Can Do It!

Fathers, your job is of utmost importance! Your child’s relationship with you is the number one factor that influences their academic success, their relationships, their decisions about drugs and alcohol, and their career prospects. Use that influence for good, and amazing things will happen!

My own father was a hugely positive influence in my life. You might enjoy reading my tribute to my dad.

Then, after the loss of my stillborn daughter in 1996 (my first baby), Mother’s Day became painful for me. I struggled with knowing that I was a mom but not really feeling like I was a mom. I wondered if I would ever really feel like I was a mother.

In 2000, my son was born and Mother’s Day became joyful again. As I celebrate today, I can think of my firstborn daughter with love and only a little bit of pain. And my two living children are so dear to me that I cannot imagine life without them.

My own mother has shaped my life enormously. Born into a poverty-stricken family, her own mother incapacitated by chronic illness, she suffered as a child. She never had the guidance and nurturing of a mother in her life. As the oldest daughter in the family, she was the one who mothered her brothers and sisters.

When she married my dad and became a pastor’s wife, she had a lot to learn. Dear friends took her under their wing and showed her how to decorate a home, set a table, and entertain large groups of people. She was a quick study, and our home growing up was lovely and filled with hospitality.

There are several things that my mom can do much better than I can, no matter how much I try. They include:

1. Folding a fitted sheet
2. Pinning a corsage
3. Tying a bow on a dress
4. Chopping an onion
5. Ironing a shirt

Maybe these skills date back to the days of “home ec”? Hopefully with practice someday I can master them too.

I will never forget all the things my mom has taught me, like how to care for my home and family, how to cook, and how to be kind and loving to other people. She has given me more than just my brown eyes and brown hair; it’s from her that I get my love of nature, of reading, and of music. (See picture: me and my mom this past Christmas).

I don’t think my parents had even heard of Montessori when I was growing up (although they’ve sure heard plenty now), but my mom likes to say, “I did Montessori with you girls without even knowing it!” She had us cooking and cleaning alongside her from an early age, and allowed us plenty of free time to pursue our own interests. She frequently read aloud to us and encouraged us to read.

My mom always told me to use my intellect to help others, and it’s probably her encouragement that gave me the courage to start my Montessori business. She frequently tells me how proud she is of my family and my business, and even though I’m an adult, her words mean a lot to me.

It’s a joy to watch her interact with my own children, and I am so thankful they have a loving and involved grandma in their lives. My mom has set a standard of mothering and grandmothering that I can only hope to aspire to, and it is with love that I say today, “Happy Mother’s Day, mom!”

Happy Mother’s Day wishes to all the moms out there – you are doing a great job!

While we don’t necessarily need to involve our children in the trendy issues of our day, the fact is that an understanding of how to preserve and protect our environment is a priceless gift to give our children. Because children learn through action, here are some tactile ideas for celebrating our earth on Earth Day and every day.

1. Plant a mini garden in containers in your home or classroom. Choose hearty vegetables and/or herbs. Allow children to learn to care for the plants, making sure they receive adequate water, light, and food. If you have the space, create a compost bin and use the compost to fertilize plants.

2. Have children use a chart to track the amount of trash thrown away each day. Begin to use cloth napkins and reusable containers and chart the difference in the amount of trash.

3. Try to walk, not drive. Not only will children benefit from the fresh air and exercise, they will help reduce the greenhouse gas emissions created by driving. Kids can be encouraged to walk to school, or families can walk to the store or a park.

4. Complete an energy audit. Look around your home or classroom to determine avoidable waste. Choose one way you can conserve energy for the remainder of the school year (turn out lights, seal drafty areas around windows, etc.).

5. Walk to a local park to pick up trash, or pick up trash around your neighborhood or school building. Not only will you make it more beautiful, you’ll eliminate harmful waste. My kids and I walked around our neighborhood the other day collecting trash, and discovered that most of it was cans, bottles, and paper so we could throw it straight into the recycle bin.

6. Change light bulbs in lamps to compact fluorescent light bulbs, which use 75% less energy. Encourage children to spread the word about fluorescent bulbs to friends, family, and neighbors!

7. Choose a nice day to experience an outdoor classroom. Take advantage of children’s curiosity and enthusiasm to experience nature through all the senses. Listen for musical sounds in nature, smell the flowers, or try to count the blades of grass. Bring sketch pads and draw an outdoor scene. Pull up a weed and examine the parts of the plant.

8. Begin to recycle if you don’t already. Or, find a new type of material or container to recycle. Have children learn to identify and sort different types of recycling and, if possible, take a field trip to a local recycling center to see where the goods are taken.

9. Have children choose and learn about one environmental issue that specifically affects the area in which you live. Make a plan about the steps that can be taken to address the issue, and have children write a letter to their state representative explaining the issue and possible solutions.

10. Celebrate Earth Day to bring awareness to ways that children can change the environment for the positive. Allow children to choose tangible ways to celebrate, such as using solar power to make sun tea, planting a tree, making posters and decorations from recycled goods, or having a recycling carnival.

This year’s Earth Day begins a year of celebrating The Green Generation Campaign. Our children are truly in a unique position to become a green generation, and we are entrusted with giving them the tools to understand the social, political, and industrial consequences of how they treat the earth.

For more information on this year’s Earth Day and how you can involve your students, visit the following resources online:

Earth Day Network
Earth Day for Classrooms
Earth Day Guide

Check out some other posts on this topic:

Getting Ready for Earth Day, Montessori-style from the Montessori for Everyone blog

Celebrating Earth Day in the Montessori Community from the North American Montessori Center Blog

Earth Day 2009: Celebrating Peace and Environmental Awareness in the Montessori Classroom from the North American Montessori Center Blog

Any other Earth Day traditions or suggestions? Please share!

Children are abducted by total strangers so rarely that when it happens, their names are seared into our consciousness forever.

Here’s the trouble: when we teach children about safety practices, most of what we say involves “stranger danger”, even though stranger abduction is rare. We give them little to no guidance when it comes to avoiding more common offenses, like sexual assault by a friend or relative.

The Problem with Stranger Danger

I’d like “stranger danger” to be tossed aside. It’s unhelpful and confusing. There’s a better way to teach kids about safety, and while it’s a tiny bit more complicated, in the end it gives them the information they need to make good decisions about personal safety.

Let’s talk a little bit more about “stranger danger”. Why doesn’t it work? Aside from the fact that stranger abduction is extremely rare, the bottom line is that the word “stranger” triggers a certain feeling in children. They picture someone ugly and mean-looking who could be identified from a mile away as an unsafe person.

It’s Hard to Tell Just by Looking

To most children, a friendly person is automatically a friend, not a stranger. Simply saying hello to someone (and having it said back in return) makes them think they know this person. This is especially true if it’s someone they see around from time to time, like a neighbor down the block. But they don’t realize that the person in question is still, essentially, a stranger. And you can’t always tell if someone is bad or good by how they look.

My children have both attended a program at our park district called “Safety Town”. It’s a two-week summer session intended to teach kids about all kinds of safety. They cover swimming safety, bus safety, traffic safety, winter safety, and more. I think it’s fantastic. Except…except for the day they spend on stranger safety.

After a local police officer talks to the children about stranger danger, they are given a coloring book with pictures of potential scenes (a stranger offering candy; a stranger asking a child to help him look for his missing puppy). The stranger is drawn in a way that is purposely creepy and scary looking! What a disservice. This reinforces the idea that someone bad can be identified as such based on looks, and that someone nice looking couldn’t possibly be bad.

What Kids Really Need to Know

Is there a better way? There absolutely is, and I’m determined to spread the word about it. This new way of teaching safety was developed by Julie Clark (founder of Baby Einstein) and John Walsh (of America’s Most Wanted fame). Together, they’ve come up with a way for kids to put the adults in their lives into three categories:

1. The “Safe Adults”. This is a very small group, consisting only of the child’s parents, a grandparent or two, and a trusted friend. The parents will determine who goes in this group and teach their child exactly who belongs in this group. It’s best to keep this group to 3-4 people.

This people in this “Safe Adults” group are the ONLY people that the child is allowed to go with when leaving school, church, or any other place. If they are playing at a park and someone they know (who is not a Safe Adult) pulls the car up and asks them to hop in, they DON’T go.

That’s because of group number two…

2. The “Kinda Knows”. This is the group that includes all the people the child sees on a regular basis who aren’t in the Safe Adult group. That can be the dentist, doctor, soccer coach, mail carrier, neighbors, friend’s parents, scout leader, uncles, and aunts, and on and on. It’s a big group.

Without pointing fingers at any one type of “Kinda Knows”, it is people from this group, unfortunately, who often end up abusing children that they come in contact with. Children trust this group of people – the people whose faces are part of their everyday lives – and it’s easy for someone unscrupulous to take advantage of that trust.

Right about now you might be thinking, “My kid’s [pick one] neighbor/dentist/baseball coach is a wonderful person! They would never hurt my child!” Well, I do hope that’s true and it often is. The trouble is, just as it’s hard for a child to know who is “bad” and “good” based on appearances, it’s also hard for adults to judge character based on the sometimes slight interaction we have with the “Kinda Knows” in our lives.

As many a brokenhearted adult who was sexually abused as a child can tell you, the person who committed the vile deeds was an upstanding member of the community whom no one would have suspected. In fact, as a child they may have even told another adult about the abuse only to have their story dismissed because it was too ridiculous to believe. But it was true.

Your child can have a wonderful relationship with the “Kinda Knows”. My kids chat with the people at the post office, at Starbucks, at the grocery store, down the block. But they only do it when I’m there. That’s the key. Absolutely nothing can replace adult supervision. Since I can’t know what anyone’s intentions really are regarding my kids, I would rather err on the side of caution.

Which leads us to group three…

3. The “Don’t Knows”. This group is the most like the traditional “strangers” we hear so much about. This is anyone that a child doesn’t know. They are treated just like group 2 (Kinda Knows): the child is never to go anywhere with a “Don’t Know”, or give them any information about themselves. They can only talk to a “Don’t Know” when one of their Safe Adults (group 1) is present.

The “Stranger Safety” DVD

You might be thinking that this sounds a little complicated. It is, a little. But John & Julie have produced a DVD that presents this information in a fun, memorable way so that kids really understand it. It covers more than just the three people groups, too, including what to do if someone you don’t know knocks on your front door, and how to know if a “Kinda Know” or “Don’t Know” is getting too close and invading a child’s personal space. (See the end of this post for info on buying the DVD).

At this point, you might think that you can simply explain the “Safe Adult/Kinda Knows/Don’t Knows” approach to your child and skip buying the DVD. I wouldn’t recommend it. Children are frequently visual learners, and the DVD uses humor, music, and sample situations to really make sure kids have internalized the concepts. It’s for kids 5 and over, and as always, I recommend that you watch it by yourself first to make sure it’s appropriate for your kids and so you can intelligently discuss it with them.

Making a Difference

In addition to the original Stranger Safety DVD, there is also one for older children on Internet safety. Another very, very important topic. And just to be completely transparent, let me state for the record that I receive nothing in exchange for sales of these DVDs. I am recommending them based completely on their own merits.

Please consider buying one for yourself and a friend or relative with young children. Gather a group of kids in your home (with the parents’ permission, of course) and show the DVD to everyone. Loan it to a teacher, or give your used copy to a library. I gave a copy to my kids’ pediatrician, and sent one to the local police station. None of us can reach everybody, but all of us can reach somebody.

For more information, visit Julie Clark & John Walsh’s website The Safe Side. They have a Safe Side Store where you can purchase the DVDs, CDs, activity packs, and more.

Once you reach the destination, everyone begins searching for the hidden geocache. It might be in a tree, under a rock, inside a hollow log. The cache itself may be as tiny as a film canister or as big as a cooler and, when found, may contain a simple log book for you to sign your name in or a store of little treasures.

The rule is – if you take something from the cache, you must leave something in return for the next seeker to find. Good geocachers make every effort to leave the cache site as undisturbed as they found it so that others can enjoy the hunt for the cache.

Geocaching has been around almost since the advent of GPS devices, and has gained in popularity every year. Some families go geocaching every chance they get and have found hundreds of caches over the years. Some even go on geocaching vacations, hunting for caches located at historic monuments all over the world. Your family may take such a shine to this game that you will eventually decide to create a cache of your own for others to find.

How hard is Geocaching?

Most caches will be accompanied by a difficulty rating between 1-5 with 1 representing the easiest caches. This is important data when planning with kids in mind. Pay attention to the rating of the terrain. The hardest caches may be hidden in locations that require miles of hiking over tough terrain. Some can only be reached by rock climbing or even scuba diving! Level 1 and 2 caches will probably be most appropriate for families with young children who aren’t prepared to take rigorous hikes in challenging landscapes.

What should you bring on a Geocaching adventure?

• Bottled water
• A simple snack like trail mix
• A first aid kid
• A pen to sign the logbook
• If you plan to take a treasure, be sure to bring one along to trade

Geocache treasures include coins, buttons, badges, small toys or inexpensive jewelry. Some caches might contain books, DVDs or CDs. There is an additional type of cache treasure called a ‘trackable item’. These are devices that get moved from cache to cache as people hunt. Some have made international trips and there is apparently a Mister Potato Head that has traveled around the world!

5 benefits of family Geocaching

1) This is an ideal family activity. If you’ve become concerned that you family’s main group activity revolves around watching TV, consider giving geocaching a try. Everyone will have a chance to actively participate in a fun family goal while talking, laughing and playing together.

2) Geocaching provides terrific exercise for the whole family. Even kids with couch potato tendencies can get caught up in the excitement and without even noticing it, will be filling their lungs with fresh air while hiking in search of a cache. Simple searches undertaken at a leisurely pace will benefit your family with good exercise and plenty of sunshine. Bring a picnic and make a day of the game. How about bringing along a camera to record your adventure, or a wildflower or bird guide to increase what your family learns as they walk along?

3) One of the most commonly cited benefits of geocaching is that it introduces families to lovely natural spots they never knew existed before. Devoted geocachers feel that they have acquired valuable intimate knowledge about the places in which they live.

4) Gaining appreciation for state and national parks gives children a good reason to become good stewards of public lands. Because there is a strong emphasis on leaving terrain in good shape for other players, geocaching has the potential to teach children that our wild places need to be protected and cared for so that everyone can enjoy them.

5) Geocaching is about achievement. It teaches children that families can set and achieve goals and have fun in the process. It provides a good opportunity for exploring the powers of dedication and teamwork, and because it comes with the built-in control of the cache, everyone knows when they have succeeded.

Getting started

GPS devices run between about $100-$1000. Geocaching.com has recommendations for good devices. Once you have your GPS, all you have to do is register at the site to get a list of local caches in your area. Pick a destination and get going!

I enjoyed this story about a father who got his overweight son to start hiking because of geocaching. Here’s one mom’s report about the excitement of geocaching with kids. It seems that children are sometimes the very best at discovering the hidden caches, and I believe that Montessori and homeschool families will quickly see the value in an activity that gets everyone out of doors for a joint-effort exploration of our amazing planet.

We, as teachers, considered parent education to be absolutely imperative. Often, as we explained the rationale of certain Montessori activities, we could almost see the light bulb go off over a parents’ head. “Ah!” they would say. “Now I get why you [pick one] let the children scrub pumpkins/don’t send home work every day/don’t use worksheets.”

Sometimes it’s really just that simple. Tell them why you’re doing something the way you are, and they become your supporters rather than challengers. Montessori instructors have a unique opportunity as educators of the parents as well as the children. The worthy goal is that the student will get so much more out of the Montessori experience if it is supported not only in the school, but also in the home.

Here are 5 smart suggestions for ensuring that Montessori parents understand what their children’s school career will be like in the Montessori classroom, and how their involvement is crucial.

1. Establish A School Lending Library for Parents

The Montessori Method, Dr. Montessori’s original text, should be required reading for all parents considering a Montessori education for their children. This simple book provides a invaluable introduction to the method and will acquaint parents with its history. Beyond this, there are dozens of wonderful books on the subject of Montessori programs, such as The Absorbent Mind, How to Raise an Amazing Child the Montessori Way and Montessori from the Start. If the school is able to order copies of Montessori Life magazine and maintain a section of Michael Olaf catalogs, there will be plenty for parents to read.

I would suggest supplementing these pro-Montessori materials with critical studies of the public school system such as John Taylor Gatto’s The Underground History of American Education and Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. Books like these will help parents to compare and contrast the options of Montessori and public schools. Interesting DVDs, such as Montessori: The Science behind the Genius would enrich the lending library. Parents should be invited to contribute books and other materials to the library that they find relevant and would like to share with others.

2. Communicate Well With A Useful School Website

A thoughtfully-prepared website can become an invaluable tool for the whole school
community. Teachers can assemble a list of frequently asked questions, culled from their years of experience, and these Q&As can be listed on the website so that parents wanting to learn more about the school’s offerings will have countless questioned answered even before their first in-person visit.

The website can outline the general curriculum and be made beautiful and appealing with illustrative photography. The website can provide pertinent contact information for setting up appointments to tour the school and can explain enrollment requirements. Beyond being a terrific resource for new prospective school families, the website can be enlarged to serve all parents.

By incorporating a website forum, the community will have a place to come to learn about important happenings at the school, broach pertinent issues and discuss plans, challenges and strategies with the teachers and other parents in an effective and simple way.

As you might imagine, I think it would be fantastic if the teachers decided to have a blog. This would be a great place to talk about the neat things that are going on in their classrooms, announce field trips or get feedback from parents on new ideas. In today’s world, the Internet is the communication tool of choice for so many people and while it can never replace face-to-face meetings, a well-structured website offers additional opportunities for school involvement 24 hours a day.

3. Give Parents a Kid’s Eye View of the Classroom

Asking grown-ups to get down on their knees so that their exploration of the classroom is from the perspective of a small child may cause some giggles, but it’s an active way for them to tap into how the environment will look and feel to their children. Suddenly, the beautiful sense of order and accessibility becomes apparent. Arrange a sample work period and allow parents to take out floor mats and choose materials that seem interesting to them. Encourage them to ask questions so that you, the instructor, can demonstrate the way in which you will be aiding their children without taking away the responsibility for exploring and accomplishing the work themselves.

4. Provide Parent Education Meetings

This is a great way to reach many parents at one time. Some schools will have the budget to be able to pay for speakers to come and give presentations. But the director, teachers, and even parents can put together short talks that will be of value and interest to parents. Topics like the Normalized Child, Educating for Peace, or Promoting Independence would be great places to start.. The structure can be formal, or as friendly as a potluck supper, depending on the preferred style of the teachers and parents.

5. Don’t Omit Discussion of Ethics in Parent-Teacher Meetings

It is clear from reading The Montessori Method that the parents living in Dr. Montessori’s original children’s houses were generally poorly-educated people, sometimes lacking in basic life skills. Dr. Montessori found it was vital for the resident instructors to provide assistance to these families so that their children would be properly fed, clothed, bathed and taught. This will seldom be the case with modern Montessori parents and, obviously, Montessori teachers no longer live amongst their students’ families.

In modern times, no one has the right to tell parents how to raise their children and this may make Montessori instructors feel hesitant about discussing the ethical
values that are the foundation of the method. While it’s only right that parents should decide how they will raise their children, if what is taught in the home opposes the important behavioral lessons learned in the classroom, conflicts will result.

For example, a child from a family where intense sibling rivalry is allowed to exist will have difficulty understanding that they are expected not to compare themselves to their classmates at school. Children who are permitted to react to disagreements by yelling, hitting or other hurtful behaviors at home will bring these actions into the classroom, too. Children who are disciplined at home with negative or shaming techniques may not be able to respond to the positive reinforcements that form the structure of discipline at school.

I remember one year, I gave a talk about Children and the Media. I came down quite conservatively for shielding kids from much of what’s on television and in the movie theaters. But more than just telling parents what I thought their children should watch or not watch, I talked about why and how violent images affect children negatively. I was nervous when giving the talk, but it was very well received and many parents thanked me later. They want to learn!

Any Ideas?

A little parent education can go a long way towards ensuring a successful school experience for each child. Hopefully there’s something new here you can implement at your own school, and I’d love it if you share any ideas that work well for you.

A most interesting recent research project tracked 400 students in Milwaukee. Half the students received only public school education from kindergarten to graduation. The other half attended Montessori schools through 5th grade before transitioning into the public school system. The two groups were carefully matched in terms of gender, ethnicity and family financial status. At the end of the study, which was conducted between 1997-2007, test scores and GPAs were compared.

Perhaps it won’t come as a surprise to Montessori advocates that the children who had received Preschool – Grade 5 Montessori education not only outperformed the other student group in math and science test scores, but also graduated with higher GPAs. The conclusion of the study was that early Montessori education had a long-term impact on later public school performance. At the very least, students transitioned excellently on an academic level.

Help! We’ve Just Left Montessori For Public School

This was the title of an educational forum discussion that I believe accurately sums up how many parents feel about the challenges of transitioning. In this case, a mother in Chicago was extremely committed to making her son’s move from one school to the next as smooth as possible. She was very worried about the fact that her son’s handwriting and spelling was poor and feared that the different way in which math would be presented in his new classroom would prove a difficult challenge.

Three months later, the mom returned to forum to report that while her son’s first report card had contained mostly As and Bs, she was unhappy to see him getting C in language arts. She wondered why, when her son was a good reader, his language skills were so ‘weak’. Another parent came along to remind her that a C grade doesn’t mean ‘weak’; it simply means ‘average’. The mother seemed reassured by this. I think it’s helpful to remember that grades usually do not show a true picture of the child’s abilities, and hopefully Montessori parents will keep this in mind when their child moves to a grade-based system of evaluation.

As the discussion continued and time passed, this parent discovered ways to help her son with new things like homework, got further advice for improving in challenging areas and found that being in good communication with her child’s teacher is very important. I thought this discussion was noteworthy because it shows that both the parent and the child go through a transition, and this mother was doing the right thing by getting involved and doing all she could to be of help to her child.

The Academic Transition

The academic challenge is 1/2 of the formula in the transition. Montessori students may either be behind or ahead of their new peers in certain subjects because of the self-guided study they did in their previous school. Concepts will be taught differently, and the student will need to adapt to more traditional teaching methods.

In my experience, even if a Montessori child finds him or herself behind the other students in a certain curricular area, they are able to catch up very easily. Remember, this is a child who has learned how to learn – where to find information on their own if they need it. They are accustomed to research and to tackling new subjects. These skills stand them in very good stead when they move to traditional school.

Homework may be a bit of a shock, if a child hasn’t received very much until now. Students must be prepared to put in additional hours of work after the last bell rings for the day. Parents may need to participate in homework time until their children become accustomed to taking responsibility for the task on their own.

A healthy snack at homework time may be helpful in providing the extra bit of energy new traditional school students need to fulfill homework requirements. If children show an inability to complete all the work that is expected of them, setting up a parent-teacher conference to discuss a gradual transition to homework might be a good idea. It isn’t in the best interest of any child to give them more duties than they can handle and a good teacher will be willing to listen to special concerns.

The Emotional Transition

No matter the kind of education a child receives, leaving a familiar classroom or school behind can cause some feelings of sadness for students of any age. Montessori children are apt to miss their former instructors and schoolmates as well as the buildings and playgrounds they knew so well. Entering a social system where a pecking order has already been established presents another challenge as the new kid tries to figure out where he fits in. When you add to this the tremendous difference in educational philosophy Montessori students encounter when they walk into their traditional school classrooms, some feelings of stress are predictable.

Teachers and parents can help children by having frequent conversations with them about what they are feeling and experiencing. Parents can encourage kids to feel free to invite a potential new friend home for a play date. This will help them to meet some of their new classmates and their parents. The truth is, of course, that during school hours, children will be fending for themselves in a new environment. It may take awhile for them to be accepted by their fellow students and to make friends.

Here’s Some Good News

Psychologists and stellar child advocates like John Taylor Gatto agree that the most important period for mental and emotional development is accomplished by the time a child is nine. Gatto suggests that grades K-3 are optimal for homeschooling children and the same concept applies to Montessori. Children who are allowed to explore and discover themselves amidst the general freedom of a Montessori environment have got powerful tools tucked under their jackets that will assist them when they enter the more rigid structure of traditional school.

Overall, the prognosis looks good for a healthy transition from Montessori to traditional schools, and I have seen many, many children handle the change successfully. That being said, parents need to do their part by carefully investigating schooling options. Many districts offer interesting charter school choices, and some parents will pick a private school. Homeschooling will be the route other families determine to take. Each family will have to make the decision that’s best for their child, and be ready to give them some extra support as they make the change.