I remember as a kid my parents insisting he was real for many many years despite my skepticism. I remember how awful I felt when I finally begged them to tell me the truth, because I felt that all the grown ups were laughing at us kids and lying on purpose to humiliate us. That’s an awful feeling.That’s how i remember the Santa lies.

I cannot do that to other children. Kids do have dignity, and to blatantly lie to them (while teaching them lying is bad) is ridiculous! I’d rather they know the truth and giggle to themselves that they are lucky enough know the truth.

The holiday has no real bearing on who Santa Claus is so telling the truth does not ruin the holiday at all. I’m not religious. I’d rather explain about what the holiday season means to different people and let them decide how they would like to celebrate it. if a child can have a conversation about it with you at the age of 5, they can help determine what they think is special about it and parents can build on that from there – creating special memories for that child that promote honesty and real celebration.

We’ve had our kids in Montessori since they were 3 and 4–they’re now, as of today, 7 and 8–and had never known this about Montessori. Unfortunately we found out the hard way, in that our kids, who still believe in Santa though are beginning to question, were told by their new teacher (six weeks) that Santa Claus isn’t alive. My bottom line is this: If that’s the case, especially since Montessori education starts with such young ages, Montessori schools ought to make that part of their philosophy known up front. The divulging of that kind of information should be left to the parents, and if they’re not going to leave it to parents, they should let the parents know at the outset.

As much of a fan as I am of Montessori-style education, I happen to believe Maria Montessori was seriously off-base on this point. Imagination is something to embrace and encourage, not stifle too soon with the reality of the world. Not only does it deny children the only time in their lives they’ll be able to enjoy their imagination as innocently and joyfully as only a child can, it ignores the fact that reality will set in soon enough all by itself, particularly in our 21st century world. Coming to realize the borders of reality and imagination on one’s own is a vital and empowering part of life. That there are adults who believe in fantastic things they might or might not be better off believing doesn’t mean they were taught to believe too much in imagination, only that they weren’t taught to believe well enough in the world as it is. The well-bred mind can make that distinction for itself without having to be told from the earliest age that fantasy is bunk. Childhood is for children, not miniature adults.

I’m going to have to seriously question the new school we’re interviewing on Monday to determine just how much weight this mindset is given in their school, because if it’s much more than none, I’ll have to seriously consider homeschooling. If I wanted my children to grow up that fast that way, I’d have put them in public school.

As a Montessorian, I also recognize the implications of “the truth about Santa” as holding potentially significant implications regarding parenting and development (fantasy & commercial). As a faithful and spiritual person who is non-christian, I appreciate this topic as I prepare for parenthood for my first time. I value an educational or ‘anthropological’ outlook and aspire to provide the children in my care with rich learning opportunities. In my developing parenting mindset, I will try to recognize the origins and differences in the world’s traditions while emphasizing the universal, shared spirit behind them.

I am expecting them to handle it better than I did. My grief was because I had been taught– somewhat forcefully– that Santa was a real, flesh and blood person who lives in the North Pole with feelings. My teacher told me he wasn’t real, which meant the death of Santa and the beginning of parents-as-liars. I won’t get into my childhood dynamic, but let’s just say it wasn’t a happy household. If my mother felt Santa might not come because of financial reasons, she’d turn it on me and my “naughtiness,” to “prepare me” for Santa not coming.

When my teacher told me and I was so sad, my mother was cruel about it and told me I was too smart to believe in Santa anyway. She did not care that a dream had died or that I was hurting.

My children’s version of Santa is quite a bit less Draconian than my mother’s, needless to say. I am very careful to tell them I don’t know what Santa looks like or how exactly he operates because I have never seen him in action. Pointing out the media discrepancies, hopefully, is forming a base of understanding that Santa is perceived by the individual. The question then becomes “what do these Santas have in common?”

When they find out / are told that the red suit guy is mythology, we will be quick to assert that Santa IS real, as the spirit of Christmas in action. Hopefully for them it won’t be a death, but a different way of perceiving things.

Also, almost all of the gifts that they get at Christmas are from close relative. There is always a very small gift that is not labeled and I simply say that I don’t know who it is from. That’s the end of it.

They can think what they want but I don’t get too involved in the deception.

My children love Christmas and the time we spend with family. As children who don’t watch any TV or movies at home they are not too concerned about what Santa will bring them. When my boys were 4 and 6 they told a community Christmas party Santa they didn’t need anything for Christmas. When I asked them if they would like a new truck they told me that they didn’t because they already had a truck at home. My neighbor’s no-tv child wanted a pair of pants.

The type of story I share with my children similar to this one that I found at http://www.stnicholascenter.org/Brix?pageID=38.

“His wealthy parents, who raised him to be a devout Christian, died in an epidemic while Nicholas was still young. Obeying Jesus’ words to “sell what you own and give the money to the poor,” Nicholas used his whole inheritance to assist the needy, the sick, and the suffering. He dedicated his life to serving God and was made Bishop of Myra while still a young man. Bishop Nicholas became known throughout the land for his generosity to the those in need, his love for children, and his concern for sailors and ships.”

Thanks sharing these ideas. I’m always happy to know that there are others like us.

I have told the Santa story to my daughter, who is four. I have not spun elaborate tales. The Christmas when she was 2 1/2, I told her the basics of the story (North Pole, sleigh, reindeer, chimney, presents, the joy of giving) and read her lots of Christmas books featuring, in many cases of course, Santa. But ever since then we really just ask her questions about what she thinks. “Who do you think that is?” as we pass the Santa in the mall, for example. So she is spinning the myth for herself and putting together bits and pieces from books and songs that she hears.