Comments on: Taking a Look at Santa Again

By: Donna

Donna — Thu, 09 Dec 2010 02:04:57 +0000

My 9-year-old son got in trouble at a Montessori school because a six year old classmate asked him if he “believed” in Santa Claus. My son honestly said “no” and then got in trouble with the teacher for talking about it.

I don’t understand why people think children should have the right to “believe” in Santa but not the right to NOT believe in Santa!

By: Lori Bourne

Lori Bourne — Sun, 05 Dec 2010 15:12:52 +0000

Hi, Miruna! So glad you found it helpful. As I mentioned in my first post about Santa (linked to at the beginning of this one), the turning point for me was hearing a girl in my class tell me that she knew for sure there was a Santa because her mom told her so and her mom would never lie to her…that’s when I realized that children need to be able to trust us so it’s better that they know the truth. I admire you for your decision!

You are absolutely correct, she will still have a wonderful Christmas!

By: Miruna

Miruna — Sun, 05 Dec 2010 09:02:31 +0000

I am glad I’ve found this discussion. Santa Claus and the Easter bunny become quite uncomfortable topics for me as my daughter is growing. These are the only topics that we have not been truthful about because enjoying Santa was too big part of my own childhood and I didn’t want to spoil it for her. But this year, as the day comes closer, I had a very difficult time trying to avoid discussing Santa and not being able to involve her in picking presents for our family.
Your blog post and all the discussion helped me to decide that she won’t miss the whole spirit of the holiday and I’m not going to be a terrible parent if I’ll let her know about what things are.
Besides, she has such an intense imagination, populated with all sorts of mermaids and fairies that she made up herself and acts as they are very real and complicated people, that I’m sure she will find Santa a spot in her own personal pantheon…
Thank you!

By: Lori Bourne

Lori Bourne — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 01:12:27 +0000

Thanks for your interesting comments! Fuen, that story was very sweet. However it does beg the question of why tell children that the Three Wise Men are bringing the presents in the first place? Why not just tell that story from the beginning? But it’s similar to telling children about the real St. Nicholas and talking about how the original person (people) became the legends we share today.

Sasha, I understand where you are coming from and you are in a difficult situation not being able to discussion these issues freely. I do think that children should know that there are differing beliefs and we can all get along in spite of that. Still, when parents tell children that Santa brings their gifts in a sleigh, and the parents are actually the ones who put the presents under the tree, that’s more than just alternate beliefs. There’s only one truth there, and parents are choosing to present something untruthful.

C’helle, I’m sorry you ran into the opposite problem. Hopefully posts and discussions like this will help teachers to understand how sensitive these issues are and make better decisions in the classroom.

By: C'helle

C'helle — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 23:30:38 +0000

We had problem the opposite of the one presented by the parent you mentioned. I happen to believe that Santa as we know him today is a capitalist construct above all, and has little to do with Christmas or St. Nicholas. The concept conflates virtue with material reward; in a world where so many children are starving, I feel it is unjust at its core. I never taught my children to believe in Santa (this does not mean we do not give gifts or celebrate). Yet his kindergarten teacher felt that she should teach him that Santa *is* real, if he only believes, and the k5 class spent a week writing letters to Santa and making reindeer food. I was very angered. It caused a lot of cognitive dissonance for my child. I would never presume to tell another parent how to handle this issue with their child, and I was furious that my view points were not respected. I completely agree with the parent you mention. That is not a teacher’s prerogative.

By: Sasha

Sasha — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 22:41:41 +0000

I’ve been working in my classroom about beliefs (Santa, fairies, God(s) all at once) because children were fighting each other about it (though I’m not entitled to do that as in France any religious topic is forbidden or so). I was able to do that with the help of this wonderful book by Terry Pratchett entitled the Hogfather.

There you realise that maybe believing in little lies when you’re a kid helps you believe bigger lies when you’re an adult, what you call “values” they don’t exist and Pratchett says if you want any proof just imagine reducing the world to a pile of dust, would you find for instance some Justice powder? No, therefore it’s not real. It’s a belief. And you need training to be able to believe such big lies.

Last but not least, Maria Montessori *believed* it was no good not telling “the truth” to children. It was her opinion. I think she had great ideas and I think Montessori schools are the best as to respect children’s evolution, but maybe we are not supposed to take the bad ones too, just because they were her ideas. Telling to a child that Santa’s not real means you don’t let him / her decide what he is to believe. Just think a minute about what “truth” is. Do you know how everything is? Do you know the “truth”? No scientist knows it, you know…

My lesson end was something like you can believe in whatever you want to believe and let others believe in what they want to. God or not, Santa or not, Fairies and Peter Pan or not, Justice or Peace in the world or not. Just let them be. It’s called Freedom. They will know eventually anyway. It’s not because you’re going to hurt their feelings, not respecting their own pace, that you’re doing any good. This is so anti-montessori…

By: Fuen

Fuen — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 21:31:00 +0000

In Spain we don’t have Santa but Los Reyes Magos (The Three Wise Men). Here is a story from a father when confronted with their child who had just found out that the ‘truth’:

As soon as he arrived home, ready to hear the stories about school, a father was confronted by her young daughter. She asked him, full of fear:

 ”Daddy?  Yes, tell me  – I want you to tell me the truth, OK?”  “Sure! I always tell you the truth”, he answered a bit surprised . “Well”, stammered Blanca , “Daddy, the Three Wise Men – are they real? ” Blanca’s father became speechless, looked at his wife, trying to find out the reason for such a question. But he only found a face as surprised as his, staring at him.  “The girls in my class say that they are the parents…is it true?”

The new question took back his attention and swallowing hard, he looked at his daughter and said, “And, what do you think, Blanca? ” “I don’t know, Daddy. On one hand I think they do exist because you never lie to me, but on the other, the girls in my class say…”

“Well, Blanca, it is true that the parents give the presents but…” “So, it is true!” Blanca cuts him off, with her eyes full of tears. “You lied to me!”

“No, we have never lied to you because the Three Wise Men do exist,” answered the father, taking her face in his hands. “I don’t understand, Daddy.”

“Sit down, Blanca, and listen to the story I am going to tell you because the time is now right for you to understand it.” says Daddy.

Blanca sits between her parents, anxious to hear anything that will erase the doubts and her father starts telling the real story of the Three Wise Men.

When Baby Jesus was born, Three Wise Men came from Orient guided by a big star. They brought him presents to prove their love and respect. The Child was very happy so the eldest of the three, Melchor said:  It is wonderful to see a child so happy! We should take presents to all the children in the world just to make them happy.

“Oh, yes!” said Gaspar, “It is a great idea but it is very difficult to carry out! We will never be able to take all the present to millions of children around the world!”

 Baltasar, the third of the Men was listening intently with his face beaming. He replied:  ”It is true that it would be fantastic! However, Gaspar is right! Even thought we are wise, we are very old and it would be extremely difficult to go all over the world giving presents to all the children. It would be wonderful though! ” The Three Wise Men became very sad to think that they could not carry out their wish.

And so, Baby Jesus, who was listening from His cot, smiled and his voice was heard in the stable:

You are very good my dear Wise Men and I really appreciate your presents. I am going to help you make your wishes come true. Tell me, what do you need to take the presents to all the children?

“Oh! We would need pages [deliverymen], millions of them! Almost one per child, so that they could all carry the presents at the same time to each house, but we cannot have so many pages. There are not so many!”

“Don’t worry about that, said Baby Jesus. I shall give you not only one but two per house in the world!” “That would be amazing! But, how is that possible?” The Three Wise Men replied, with surprised faces full of admiration. “Tell me, is it not true that the pages you want should love the children very much?”

Yes, of course it is true, nodded the Three Wise Men. And they should also know very well the wishes of the children? Yes, we would expect that from the pages, replied the Wise Men.

So, tell, dear Wise Men, is there anybody that loves the children more than their own parents?

The Three Wise Men looked at each other, nodding and starting to understand what Baby Jesus was planning, when they heard His voice again:
“So, as this is what you wish, and so that all children receive present on behalf of the Three Wise Men of Orient, I order that in Christmas time, to remember this event, all the parent in the world shall become your pages and so, on Your behalf they shall give presents their youngest children wish. The delivery will be done as if by the Three Wise Men Themselves. However, when these children grow up, their parents will tell them this story and from then on, every Christmas, the children shall give presents to their parents to show them their love. They shall remember that it is thanks to the Three Wise Men they are all sharing presents.

When Blanca’s father finished the story, she stood up and giving a kiss to her parents said:

“I now understand everything, and I am very happy to know that you love me and that you have not lied to me.” Then running, she went to her room and came back with her piggy bank saying: “I don’t know if I will have enough to buy you a present this year. However, I will save more money for next Christmas.”

Then, they all hugged and from heaven, the Three Wise Men looked on them with a big smile on their faces.

Please forgive me any spelling/ grammar mistakes as I was translating very quickly from the Spanish version. I would love to give references to this lovely story, but I cannot remember where I got it!

By: Mechtild

Mechtild — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 04:17:59 +0000

Interesting how everyone deals with this issue. I think a lot depends on our own experiences in childhood. I spent my childhood in the Netherlands and have fantastic memories about St Nicolas celebration. Many years ago we revealed to our 7 yo son in October that St Nicolas was not real. He understood and asked questions about that, but when Dec came he really believed again. When the question of real or not real comes up in my classroom I say often, he is as real as you want him to be. I notice that some children believe no matter what I say or do. the last 3 years I have brought St Nicolas into my classroom. I talk about who he is, where he lived and what my experiences were as a child. I throw a red cloth around my shoulders and make a mitre for my head, a stick (staff) in my hand and read from a ‘red book’ (encyclopedia) and make up some positive and encouraging things to say for each child. They get a biscuit and then I throw some special biscuits around. This year I asked one of the 6 year olds to be Pete, made a headpiece, a piece of material around her shoulder and a sack in her hand with the biscuits. She had never heard of St NIc or Pete before, but she played her part magnificently. The children in my class are 6-11yo. When we came in, their faces were priceless. Afterwards when I came back into the class they were still discussing whether this was all real or not. I thought it was very interesting that something that is so obviously not real, can still be so real for a child. Even the girl who played Pete went home and told her mum with conviction that St Nicolas came to school.

The children enjoy this little tradition and look forward to it.

By: MMS

MMS — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 01:14:31 +0000

My daughter’s father and I differed on how to “handle” Christmas and the Santa issue. I always (a word that I seldom use) began a conversation about Santa with the preface. “Well, the story goes……” or “They say…….”, or “Some people believe…..” During the holiday season, I would read to her about how “Christmas” was observed in other countries. Her dad, on the other hand, took the opposite stance about such things. The Christmas following her fifth birthday in August, she had a heart-to-heart with me, confiding in me that she “knew” there was no such person as Santa, but, did her dad know the truth.

It was a priceless moment. I guess you could say that, for her, it was just another fact of life.

By: Rocio Smith

Rocio Smith — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 19:32:17 +0000

I would have to agree with the angry parent. It is not our job as educators to be judgemental, nor to decide what children should know the truth about or not. Our job is to educate from an EDUCATIONAL point of view, therefore, relying on facts and not on personal beliefs.
Santa and other holiday celebrations can/should be presented as any other subject – with objectivity.
I always tell my students to ask their parents when I feel it is not place to say either way with topics such as religion, sexual topics, Santa, Easter Bunny, etc.