Some great sources for Montessori info are back issues of Montessori Life magazine, and the book “Montessori Madness” by Trevor Eisler. And you can forward her a link to this post, too.

It sounds like she needs more info into the “why” of the mixed age group, so that she understands it better. Also, does she know that no work is truly off-limits to any age in 3-6, it’s just “how” they do it that differs?

What you can do is be proactive about helping him make friends, like inviting other kids over to your house, etc. That will ensure that he gets to know other kids and that will help a lot.

First, I find that it’s not productive to move a child to a new school after the school year has already started. There’s no guarantee he would like another school any better, and the kids at any new school have already bonded so he’d be the “new kid”.

The key here is communication. Request a meeting with his teacher and the school director. Share your concerns in a non-threatening way. Ask them what they can do to help your son feel more comfortable in class.

Some suggestions include: coming up with more challenging work for him to do, inviting kids from his class over to your house so he can get to know them better (even with a difference in ages, this should still be fun), and making sure that he is not always being asked to help the younger ones (some is okay but it shouldn’t be overdone).

The teacher may also share with you some things he/she observes about your son’s behavior; if those are less than positive, try to be understanding just like you are expecting them to be understanding of your concerns.

Also, talk with your son about the situation. Tell him that you are interested in helping him feel more comfortable in class. Let him know that you are talking with his teacher and ask him if there’s anything he wants you to tell them (although he should not be present at the conference).

The situation sounds difficult for the teachers are well – between the high turnover rate and the imbalance of ages, they are probably having a difficult time too. So keep their perspective in mind when you talk to them.

Keep talking, brainstorming, and working until you find a way to make it work. There will always be challenges for every kid at every school but generally you can work through it with patience and communication.

Thank you so much for posting this article.

My son is in a Montessori school and has been there since age 3. He is in his 3rd year and is the oldest child in the class. However, he is having extreme difficulty in the class. He hates it actually.

The class is extremely imbalanced as far as mixed-ageed grouping. There are primarly small 3 year olds in their first year of Montessori, a few 2nd years, and him as a 3rd year. He gets really irritated with the little kids and the teachers are not handling the class well.

In addition, his class has had extreme teacher turn-over. He has had a total of 6 different assistance teachers in 3 years. Plus his lead teacher for 2 years has now taken an assistant role this year.

I am wondering if the age imbalance and teacher turnover could be affecting his performance in class? Also he complains that he does not know any of the other teachers or students and all of his friends are gone.

Please help!

Thanks for stopping by

Thanks for stopping by!

I think too many schools take on the “hard part” of Montessori (setting up the whole environment and getting teachers up to speed on all the materials and appropriate guidance) and miss out on the aspects of the program that make things easier. It may not seem that way at first, but having the mixed ages you describe, taking students only 5 days a week, and taking primarily students that will stay all 3 years makes the things so much easier on the adults over time. I do think you get the most benefit from mixed ages if you make a habit of encouraging younger ones to ask other children for help. “Who else could help you with that?” It is also gracious and a good model to thank children who go out of their way to help.